Cruise Life Thoughts

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Since my last blog about the Amazon River I enjoyed beautiful blue Caribbean waters, spent time in the Bermuda Triangle of Georgia (inside joke, sorry) and went back to Nevada to reconnect with my family over the holidays.

Let’s catch up

In case you missed it- I spent 73 days cruising around South America with a 5 day experience in Antarctica. From October-December I made my way through Ecuador, Peru, Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, and a blip at Devils Island- a small penal colony off the coast of French Guiana.

I didn’t write about this cruise nearly as much as I wrote about the Grand World Voyage. Some small details I’m wishing I would’ve shared now that it’s a month after disembarkation:

• By the end of the voyage, I had a tuna sandwich addiction. Everyday after the gym, my immediate craving was for a tuna sandwich with extra pickles.

• I also regularly had the stir fry bowls by the end of the voyage. The crew member at that station knew my order by memory, if that doesn’t show you how often I had it, I don’t know what will.

• Robinson Crusoe Island was a darling port. It was very mountainous and we started hiking until we got to an area that required heavy bushwhacking. Towards the base of the climb we ran into a German Shepard mix who stayed by our side the entire way up and down. He was so sweet. I named him Sherpa. It was as if the small village had hired this dog as a guide (lol). While we were taking in the breathtaking views I could see a disturbance in the water. Through the binoculars, I saw an entire pod of dolphins (what looked like a hundred of them). The local pets and the beautiful scenery made this port quite the treat.

• South America was incredible in so many ways, and I’m really grateful for the experience. But I was SO ready to turn the chapter at the end of that cruise.

The Now

The cruise lifestyle offer a lot of free time. While it’s easy to fill time with reading, writing, going to the gym, pool, etc. it’s also really opened up the realm of my brain to simply wander.

Because of this, I’ve been having a mental battle with myself over a few different things.

I’ve seen so many content creators making money off of their travels and their adventures. And I think to myself, “Why am I not capitalizing on that?” On one hand, I’m already traveling, so I might as well make money doing it.

On the other hand, if I’m focused on the camera, and trying to tell a story, I might lose sight of what I’m actually doing. There becomes a point where I’m not doing it for myself. Instead, I’m selling myself, and the places I’m at.

Have you ever seen The Secret Life of Walter Mitty? If not, you should (and there’s about to be a spoiler).

There’s the scene with Sean O’Connell character - who is a professional photographer- taking a photo of the illusive snow leopard. When he FINALLY sees the cat, he doesn’t even snap the shot. Because, “if he likes the moment, he wants to live in reality and not let the lens get in the way.”

This tightrope of feelings reminds me of my old track coach Reyes before he passed away. One time we were doing a drill that was really difficult, but a lot of kids were under the impression that he wasn’t watching, so they cheated and didn’t do it all the way. At the end of it all he commended me for being one of the only ones to TRULY do it.

The only person I would’ve been cheating had I done it incorrectly, is myself. I’ve thought about this a lot recently. Whether it be at the gym when I’m feeling unmotivated, if I’m experiencing a moment and trying to decide if I want to take a photo for others, or even if it’s something I want to write about later. If you spend so much time focusing on what others see of you, and how “cool” you are, you’re really only cheating yourself by cutting yourself from growth.

At the end of the day, the only person that matters if they’re watching, is yourself.

Easy to say, difficult to feel.

Finally, it’s the balance of lifestyle. I’m finally coming to a point where I find appeal in a more traditional lifestyle. But it leaves me with questions:

What is it that I want?(emphasis on the I)

What am I ready for? Are you ever truly READY for change? There’s no way you can prepare for everything, whether it be within your sphere of control or not.

Going home always leaves me feeling more pressured to start living more traditionally. Finding a home, a full time job, getting a dog… you know. Long term responsibilities.

Over the last year and a half I’ve travelled almost exclusively. Even when I was working, it was a short term contract job that I LOVED so much that it didn’t feel like work. (If you’ve made it this far in the blog, you probably already know me well enough to know I worked as a tour guide on a picturesque train in Alaska). Time and time again, when the conversation comes up, people tell me they DREAM of a lifestyle like mine.

So I ask myself why more people don’t do it?

As crazy as it sounds, you make a lot of sacrifices. You don’t get to come home to the same comfy bed every night, with YOUR things, and the comfort of KNOWING.

Similar to when people go on vacation, and they say, “It’s fun to go, but it’s always nice to come back HOME at the end of the trip.” The word home has a lot of meaning to it. It’s not just a place, but it’s also the things, the surroundings, the FEELING.

For me, I love it. I love getting to experience the world. The art, the food, and the overall color that She has to offer. I’ve seen so much at such a young age, and I worry that as soon as I stop, and start the “traditional” lifestyle, that I’ll yearn for this time, and never have the opportunity to do it again.

But then I also fear the longer I wait, the worse I’ve set up for future me. I have to remind myself that everyone’s journey is different, and no one’s is linear.

And that’s the beauty in it all. Where you’re at in life, right now, you’re never going to have that again. Soak it up, love the now, and create a life where you can someday look back, smile that you’ve done it, but beam at whatever it may be you still have to experience in this incredible life because you only get to do it once.

Cheers,

Tay